The heart and soul of sex is the physical heat it creates between two bodies. Sometimes playful, sometimes passionate, sometimes pure and sweet, this skin-to-skin connection renews your bond and strengthens chemistry. In a long-term relationship, remembering the unique physical traits you love about your partner—her breasts or bottom, his abs or arms—can help your connection to feel special, sexy, and new all over again.
Even in a society that often seems to value beauty above all else, it can feel a bit shallow to place physical appearance on a pedestal. After all, isn’t it what’s on the inside that counts? Of course. And yet we cannot deny our natural attraction to the people we find sexy. Whether it’s built on a bright smile, beautiful eyes, or toned legs, physical attraction plays a special, irreplaceable role in nearly every sexual relationship.
Enjoying the body
We seek beauty everywhere in life, but especially when it comes to our mates. It’s okay to enjoy and explore that side of our sexuality, especially because, in a healthy relationship, it’s just one important piece of the much larger puzzle of chemistry and attraction. Admiring your partner’s body strengthens the intimacy that is the unique glue of a romantic partnership.
One of the best ways to connect the beauty of the body with great sex is to express desire openly. Nothing builds passion like showing someone that you want them. In a committed relationship, it’s easy to take this for granted, but it’s crucial to say these things out loud and make your appreciation of your partner’s physical beauty known. And the more you voice this appreciation and validation, the more your partner will respond in kind. The tips below are a good place to start.
Worship the body
It’s easy to become blindly accustomed to your partner’s body. When we see and touch each other every day, we forget to appreciate the little things, like how soft her skin is, or how his neck smells. Yet although these things are small, they are infinitely special. In order to sustain an amazing sex life, couples must worship each other’s bodies and find new ways to treasure these physical gifts. Go back to noticing how strong his body feels in the middle of the night, or how good it feels to have her wrapped around you while making love.
Compliment at least once a day
Keep at least one compliment a day focused on your partner’s appearance. It might initially be a struggle to find a new compliment every day, especially if you are not used to focusing on the positive in your partner. Sadly, it is a lot easier for most of us to reflect on the negative (“Why is he wearing that shirt again?” or “Why does she wear so much eye makeup?”). It’s always the beginning of the end of passion if we fall into that trap and stay there. Compliments, in contrast, create positive energy that resets our way of thinking and helps make appreciation a habit rather than a deliberate exercise.
Give honest feedback
Nevertheless, it’s also important to give honest feedback about your partner’s appearance. This might sound daunting, but the truth is that it is much kinder to be truthful than to allow the sexual flame to dampen. Being dishonest does a disservice to the relationship and weakens your bond. This is not the path to great sex. So, begin by establishing a rule that all feelings are shared, even if that indeed means admitting that her dress is not flattering. There’s no need to state directly that it makes her backside look large. Instead, try saying, “Actually, that dress doesn’t do justice to your figure. How about that black one you wore last month? I can’t stop thinking about you in that!” Remember, it is always possible to be both honest and kind if you approach the conversation lovingly.
It is equally important to learn to accept negative feedback. Our natural reaction might be to feel hurt, but keep in mind that your partner simply wants to benefit your relationship. It’s okay to feel upset; however, if you wait a few minutes, you might begin to feel thankful that your partner is open enough to be honest about his feelings.
Commit to being sexy
Sexuality stems from feeling desirable, attractive, fit, and healthy. Devouring a giant bowl of macaroni and cheese, or lounging around the house in an old pair of sweats every night, does not a sexy person make. And—let’s be honest—our partners don’t feel as attracted to us when appearance isn’t a priority. This goes for both men and women. Sometimes maintaining a body that is ready to be worshiped takes work—but it is always worth it.
Article Source: Laura Berman, PhD, Author of LOVING SEX THE BOOK OF JOY AND PASSION
Website: http://www.drlauraberman.com
Sex in a loving relationship can be the deepest and most meaningful experience a couple can share and yet many couples find themselves too time starved and intimacy shy to enjoy it.Helping couples to overcome these barriers, Loving Sex offers friendly, frank exploration of what sex means as part of a loving relationship, and how you and your partner can experience it to its full potential.
Written by New York Times bestselling author Dr. Laura Berman, Loving Sex explores a different aspect of sexuality, from the anatomy and physicality of arousal and orgasm, to the psychology of lust, love, and partnership. Free from unrealistic media representations of perfect bodies and pornstar practices, Loving Sex shows you the positions that work, helps resolve common problems without blame or embarrassment, and explains just how important sex can be to long-term loving happiness.
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